The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
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