Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
