You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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