I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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