also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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