He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I am one with the molecules
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
