Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
