I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
