When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
i think im in europe. pls send help
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
