I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I bet he comes in French.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
