watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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