thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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