so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
