we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
