Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
