OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
