We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
