Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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