Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
