Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
are you so shy because you have an std?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
