yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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