I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
She announced her abortion via fbk
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
