Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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