Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
