every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
