i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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