i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
it's like heaven, but drunker
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
