You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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