hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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