Don't you send me to vm
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
