and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
