dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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