i think my mom watched the whole time
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
