Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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