i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
