distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
