Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
