Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
