More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
