If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
