wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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