This house was built for laser tag.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
