Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
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