so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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