Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I will pee on everything he values.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
