OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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