we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
