I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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