Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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