last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
